significant?

adventure is great. i just love it. ya i do. i love the people that love it almost as much as i love it itself. which is why i tend to swing with these people. the problem with this is not that we lack vision. we have some great visions and goals. but we have too many of them. these people are scattered. we were once in the same spot (eastcoast), dreaming together. it was great. we were young. we are young. well not that young. we age every day. now, i am scattered from these people. the only thing we shared was the yearning for adventure. this is natural, i'm sure of it. we were created for adventure. for pleasure. however, there is a thin line. i'm no longer with these people of the shared vision. it lacked preparation. it lacked solidarity. like building a house on the sand, it just won't stand. this is where the confusion stands in the way of the purpose. where is the purpose now? i'm left with this question alone. i've had this question. no real, solid answers. that is debatable. too many clouds. i'm in a state of suspension. just hanging. but searching. and i will never give up on this search. morning. day. night. the tug on my soul. my heart. and trying to intertwine it with the thoughts in my mind. i don't want my mind to get in the way of my heart, but it does. my heart has taken the passenger seat.
i've learned a lot in the past four years of wandering. i've grown in some areas. i've slid back in some areas. i've been all over the place. so much so, that i feel as if i have no home to go to. i want to be with (insert name here, you know who you are). i want to share life. i want to drink coffee and read with my mom. i want to go eat wings with my dad. i want to play music with my brothers and take my sister out on a dinner date.
1 thing i've heard and i'm learning is that there is no distance to LOVE. this is what brings me to believe in God. i cannot see love, but it is what connects us. there is no body part to love. it can't be seen under a microscope, but it's there. i can feel it. you can feel it. GOD IS THERE.
this time of loneliness i will use as preparation because i am not alone. do i feel alone? yes.
when i feel alone, i run. this time i can't. i want to. to go where i know i will be soon. but i must be prepared. He's here.